The back of the Virginia Engineering t-shirt that Engineering Student Council
began selling about the time I started at UVa.
"I are an engineer. I carry a stapler. I can quick draw a
calculator. I can't spell my own name. I can write the
pledge in binary. I can spout dozens of digits on cue. I
don't need housing, I live in Thornton. My lucky number
is "e." I haven't seen an "86" in red ink since high
school. Someday I'll have to write a thesis. Someday. I
am afraid of the sun. I think incas can fly. I've never
gotten full credit for a lab. Ever. I haven't slept in
days. Naps in the stacks don't count. The University ends
at Clark Hall. I've been wearing this shirt for three
days now. I've never seen Alderman Library. Concrete
floats. I remember hundreds of completely
irrelevant equations. The useful ones were
forgotten fifteen minutes after the test. Estimation
is acceptable if lives are on the line. My life is stored
on magnetic media. People come to me for tech
support. Instructions are for wimps. Words are evil,
numbers are our friends. I hate UTS. The four basic
food groups are: caffeine, sugar, pain killers, and
pizza. I have a 168 hour day punctuated by three short
naps. A horse is a sphere if it makes the numbers
easier. Two times two is five for unusually large
values of two. All I really need is WD40 to make it go
and duct tape to make it stop. I mock the School of
Arts and Crafts. I take courses like "electrical
science" and "thermodynamics" by choice. My
computer emits more heat than my space heater. I
have a diffeycue and I know how to use it. I spent half
my plus dollars on coffee. My health is shattered, my
nerves are shot, but when I graduate, I'll have a job."
that Todd Harris, John Loizeaux, Nick Rosasco, and Christopher Thomas
were largely responsible for the design.
In the spring of 2010 UVa publicized a new revision of the shirt:
"I are an engineer.
I carry a stapler. I can quick draw a calculator. My foreign language
is Java. Less words equals more better. I plan on naming my
first born after my lab partner. I hate UTS. My desktop runs faster
than I do. If you can read this my backpack fell off. I never drink and
derive. My dream come true is professors that come with subtitles.
I still don't know where Ruffner, Cabell or Wilson are. If by
"fun" you mean "problem set" then I'm having a blast! I can polar
graph my name in cursive. Stacks refers to more than just my
amount of work. I pop my collar because it's more aerodynamic. I
mock the school of arts and crafts. Six hours of sleep is more than
enough. I take your hardest classes as a break from REAL work.
Someday I'll have to write a thesis. Someday. I promise you I am
normal and I have the data distribution to prove it. The length of
my facial hair indicates how my week is going. Imaginary numbers
are real to me. I can hack Facebook. My palm pilot is the only PDA
I'll ever get. I don't need housing, I live in Thornton. I'm happy I got
a B, but I'm crying inside because I got a 52. My health is shattered,
my nerves are shot, but when I graduate, I'll have a job."